Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 its started!!!

Today, is already 2013. I'm thinking to start something or start to think something. But, unfortunately I cant. I still cannot think multi-things in one time. Now, my brain and mind only go to finish the thesis. Then, for the final exam  next week. Poor me, I just cant move on because my last days as degree student are at the beginning of the year. Totally spoilt!!!

However, time not waiting and new year has begun. I still need to do something. And after hours arranging and organizing my thesis. I feel I need to write. Yes, although a phrase or word.

Then, what should I write? Seriously, I dont really sure what exactly I want to do after finish my studies. Too much think actually till making me in dilemma for choosing. And I'm undecided. May be I should wait for my degree to really really seriously think about it...hopefully, there is some decision to make.

Truthfully, I want to chase my dream. Talking about dream. I feel like crying. I'm not too old to dream. But, life now make me forget to dream. Truly, finish this degree, I feel I gain a wing. And I want to fly towards what I really want. What I feel I want deep inside my heart. Not just follow the stream like now.

My dream? The only word appear in my mind is writing. Yup, I really want to be a writer. I dont know if I can carry it on. Since I choose science when I'm not confidence to learn literature or art because I never seriously involve with it. Unlike science. And I felt unfair.

Then, I would really want to talk about system education. Again, I want to blame the system. Still I'm the one   guilt because I can choose, just I am too afraid to choose and just follow what happen to be in front.

Lastly, 2013. I want to be freed. Really, chasing my dream and live the way my heart want. Though, there are another things to be considerated. And I'm still undecided. May be this year I will in undecided mood. Try to find the real path meant to me. But, hopefully the end of this year, I will gain something meaningful.