tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16822434146540092952024-03-14T04:41:19.936+08:00ceritera hatiAmalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.comBlogger266125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-66794080313725523962019-08-27T17:57:00.001+08:002019-08-27T17:57:16.648+08:00Diet ProgramI have embarked a challenge to stop drinking sugary drinks for 7 days started 22nd July last month.<br />
<br />
It was the hardest week because I basically consume sugary drinks everyday. Therefore, I ate a lot of rice and sweets food.<br />
<br />
After the week, I don't feel sugary drinks tasty anymore.<br />
<br />
Alhamdulillah, I broke the 12 years bad habit (I started drink sweet drinks after I stop my silat training during secondary school).<br />
<br />
I continue the challenge for weekdays and I only drink moderately sugary drinks on weekend which I only drink when I found no plain water available.<br />
<br />
My weight not reduce for the first and second week, it even increase because I eat a lot to replace the sugary drinks that I refuse.<br />
<br />
So, I started to do exercise which no avail because it's not reduce my weight but it can control my stress. It's good, but not enough to get my target to lose weight.<br />
<br />
Then, I begin to calculate my calories intake. I have to take less than 1300 calories everyday. Obviously, I can't follow everyday, but I limit only 2 days for the cheat days a week.<br />
<br />
Alhamdulillah, I lost around 3 kg when I started on July 22.<br />
<br />
I write this post to make sure, I will keep focusing on my goal; to take care of my health, to eat healthy food, to exercise regularly and to lose more weights šŖš§.<br />
<br />
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Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-84333537252185115872019-08-25T01:03:00.000+08:002019-08-25T01:03:07.037+08:00The ThirtyWhile reading Pilgrimage, I keep thinking to make a journey by myself.<br />
<br />
Therefore, I can meet new people, learn new things and have courage to become a new person.<br />
<br />
But, I just kept reading, thinking and wondering of all the circumstances that might be appeared in the journey while lying on the comfort bed in the 3 star hotel at the middle of Kuala Lumpur (I can see the summit of KL Tower and KLCC from it - so, it is quite close to city center)<br />
<br />
And I cried without reason, and praying Allah will show me the best path to take.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, the door opens and someone I do know but don't really know appeared.<br />
<br />
I know her but we never talk. And she told me she messaged me with no reply. (Whoever got my reply is so lucky, and if I messaged you first, yes, I love you š)<br />
<br />
God is answering my prayer. I told her about things that she didn't know and she was telling me about things that I have no idea of.<br />
<br />
Yes, I learned about Freddy Mercury and Queen. I am laughing at myself to think I am now thirty and just aware about it.<br />
<br />
That's a good prayer right and when Allah answer it means it is good for me. Learning about a rock band may not have any benefit for me.<br />
<br />
But, if I have no idea about that kind of general knowledge, how about the other important knowledge that I don't know yet?<br />
<br />
That becomes a sign to keep believing that Allah will always guide me if I am praying for Him to guide me. Which I always forget.<br />
<br />
A sign to keep believing the prayer that He is not answering yet, is a guidance for me to lead a good life as long as I keep praying for the right cause.<br />
<br />
Since I am on my comfort bed. Imagine a journey alone with a new companion.<br />
<br />
*And with a knock, He answered everything.*<br />
<br />
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Yes, I am thirty and I know nothing without Allah's will.<br />
<br />
https<a href="https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10218680701264572&id=1109689110">://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10218680701264572&id=1109689110</a>Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-34283216606992460292019-08-20T03:07:00.002+08:002019-08-20T03:07:47.729+08:00The sleepless nightYes, I got sleep. I just make it early and I can't sleep anymore.<br />
<br />
I got headache, stomachache and I don't feel good inside my body.<br />
<br />
I swallowed a few of pill, reading book and I am not getting better.<br />
<br />
I cried, missing someone that I should forget. But, it's not easy.<br />
<br />
So, I got up, take a shower and pray.<br />
<br />
Go downstairs and drink some fibre, hopefully my stomach will get better.<br />
<br />
And grab the milk from the fridge and take a mug back to my bedroom.<br />
<br />
I should write my novel. But, I am so lazy.<br />
<br />
So, I just continue again to watch House of Cards.<br />
<br />
It's reminded me of my favorite TV show when I am young, the West Wing.<br />
<br />
It's like a dejavu because now I am working at the west wing of the Prime Minister's building.<br />
<br />
I don't know if I was indulge in politic since my young age. But, I do love it. Although, I seem don't really care about it sometimes.<br />
<br />
But, I still can't sleep. And I need to wake early this morning to go to work.<br />
<br />
<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-88812790261689951292019-08-06T06:10:00.000+08:002019-08-06T09:24:29.207+08:00The remedyI have been thinking whether I need to seek help from professional or not.<br />
<br />
If I want to find a professional, who I can trust with all my story of life?<br />
<br />
I don't know who. I can always tell my best friend but I know I will not tell everything.<br />
<br />
The only thing that I can trust is Allah.<br />
<br />
Maybe, just maybe I will find help from Him.<br />
<br />
In my busy life, I always forgot about Him.<br />
<br />
I care and depend so much on people and I forgot that Allah care more about me and I can depend on Him.<br />
<br />
So, I will try to do this 4 remedies:<br />
<br />
1. Zikir every chance I have<br />
2. Pray early time with sunat rawatib prayer<br />
3. Read Quran (Al-Waqiah, Al-Mulk, 10 verses of beginning and end of Al-Kahfi)<br />
4. Qiamullail (where I can talk and do my consultation with Allah)<br />
<br />
I should try this first. Hopefully, I will get better.<br />
<br />
<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-22224375172827196522019-08-04T21:13:00.001+08:002019-08-04T21:13:19.841+08:00The anxietyI just back from attending a training on lay counselor.<br />
<br />
During the program, we have to answer few quizzes.<br />
<br />
One of them was the level of our mental health.<br />
<br />
I got worst for my anxiety and moderate for stress and depression.<br />
<br />
And I was the only on got the worst score in the room.<br />
<br />
I think I am fine.<br />
<br />
But, I know I don't really can function well.<br />
<br />
I leave my workspace messy.<br />
<br />
I forget a lot of things.<br />
<br />
I am disappointed with my self that I can't be as efficient I should be.<br />
<br />
Or as perfect as I should be.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I feel useless.<br />
<br />
I can't do simple things and I don't know what to do.<br />
<br />
I sleep for 6 hours or more but I still feel tired when wake up.<br />
<br />
And when I am thinking about everything I started to cry.<br />
<br />
Crying without knowing the reason why.<br />
<br />
I can't off the lamp when sleep at night because I am afraid I can't wake up at the right time.<br />
<br />
I worried to sleep at midday because I am afraid people will call me about important things.<br />
<br />
I keep checking my phone if anything happen.<br />
<br />
I don't know if I really need to seek help from professional<br />
<br />
I want to quit my job but I always afraid.<br />
<br />
Afraid that I can't do any better in other job.<br />
<br />
Afraid that I don't have money to support my family.<br />
<br />
Afraid that others who replace me will take opportunity for their own good.<br />
<br />
Maybe I really need to find help.<br />
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<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-71523181184035813112019-06-11T04:30:00.000+08:002019-06-11T04:30:38.576+08:00The prayer for dreams<br />
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">In the middle of this midlife crisis</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I am wondering, what I should do next?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I always dream big, but, becoming adult, my dream becoming smaller</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Least I aware, one by one my dream had came true</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I just thinking, the dream is not perfectly like what I had imagine</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Because everything will never be perfect</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">But it did come true</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">That's the reason I always grateful</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">That I have done nothing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">But, Allah always grant m</span><span style="font-size: 1em;">e good things in life</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Because Allah always love me, protect me and never leave me behind</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Even though I always stray away from the right path</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I don't know what will happen next in my life. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I want to help more people, but, I learned that it is not easy. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I wish Allah will always help people who need His guidance</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">And Allah will guide me to do more good things for the sake of Him and myself</span></div>
<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-20868818052915127532019-05-20T21:04:00.000+08:002019-05-20T21:04:18.437+08:00When you hate so much<br />
<div dir="ltr">
Politic</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I hate it</div>
<div dir="ltr">
So much</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
When people start arguing</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I just don't care</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But, for the last 20 years</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I have this one dream</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
To change the government</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
What?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Yes, change the government</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But, you hate politic?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Yes, but I still want to change the government</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I don't even want to work for government until the government change</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
And it did change</div>
<div dir="ltr">
And I was literally forced to work for new government</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Still, I hate politic. </div>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-26217563930353347192019-05-20T16:49:00.001+08:002019-05-20T16:49:20.431+08:00Back and ReclaimWriting is an exploration<br />
You start from nothing<br />
And learn as you go<br />
<br />
I think that's also apply on life<br />
We start from nothing<br />
And learn as we go<br />
<br />
So, I decided to keep writing<br />
For me to keep living<br />
<br />
Let's blogging again<br />
Since I don't know how to start<br />
And I start long time ago by blogging<br />
<br />
I miss my self that time<br />
I am not perfect<br />
My life full of flaw<br />
And I pray everyday for Allah to help me<br />
To go through that difficult life<br />
<br />
And His favour does reach me<br />
Counting back all my prayers<br />
Allah answers almost everything<br />
And I am not realized it<br />
Because I am so busy<br />
Complaining about everything<br />
<br />
When I decided to stop<br />
Looking back at the trail of time that passed<br />
Allah shows me everything that I forgot<br />
And I know I have lost myself<br />
Because I forgot to be grateful<br />
And to thank Allah for everything He gives me<br />
<br />
It's a good thing that I stop<br />
And take time to reflect<br />
<br />
And Alhamdulillah I decided to continue again<br />
To reclaim my best selfAmalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-12091829380390637422017-05-02T23:06:00.000+08:002017-05-02T23:06:31.110+08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0wV4FLGnQVU/WQifsySXg0I/AAAAAAAAhQw/5eAsSc6xYaw9Vy4paIVdRbcgWSNi4nRhwCLcB/s1600/dating%2Bjumaat%2Bmalam_3d.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0wV4FLGnQVU/WQifsySXg0I/AAAAAAAAhQw/5eAsSc6xYaw9Vy4paIVdRbcgWSNi4nRhwCLcB/s320/dating%2Bjumaat%2Bmalam_3d.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Akhirnya! Novel pertama saya!<br />
<br />
Mungkin masih banyak yang boleh diperbaiki lagi. Tapi ini kisah cinta pertama yang berjaya saya tamatkan.<br />
<br />
Moga pada masa akan datang saya akan merungkai dan berhasil menamatkan lebih banyak kisah-kisah indah.<br />
<br />
Its a dream comes true!<br />
<br />
I am a writer now! Novelist!Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-57048870330681748562016-01-02T23:39:00.000+08:002016-01-02T23:41:34.905+08:002015 was a great time!2015 was a great year for me.<br />
<br />
I have been in a lot of situations.<br />
<br />
And lot of big things happened to me.<br />
<br />
I ended my 2014 with a news of my 2 years crush was getting married.<br />
<br />
I started writing my novel.<br />
<br />
And used the whole year in 2015 to finish it.<br />
<br />
When I thought love was unimportant and didn't know if I was capable for it again.<br />
<br />
I fell deeply for a person.<br />
<br />
However, it was unrequited love and I got heartbroken.<br />
<br />
When I was moving on,<br />
<br />
An unacceptable proposal came up.<br />
<br />
To be part of leadership in a renown Islamic organization in Malaysia.<br />
<br />
At the same time I got a job.<br />
<br />
The first permanent job in the office of the Opposition Leader of Malaysia.<br />
<br />
Before that, I was hopeless with no money and no job.<br />
<br />
Until I have to do a part time work for unique 'tutor' job in KL for a month.<br />
<br />
Oh, don't forget, I at last got my driving licence after almost 10 years struggling to acquire it.<br />
<br />
And at the end of the year, I finished writing my novel.<br />
<br />
I still single and thinking love is not really important.<br />
<br />
I am struggling to finish my study.<br />
<br />
And I am happy with my work.<br />
<br />
2015 was a great year to me.<br />
<br />
It was too colourful.<br />
<br />
Filled with laughter and crying hard.<br />
<br />
It was the time I was turned 26 from 25.<br />
<br />
And I am not young anymore.<br />
<br />
But, I love my life.Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-86802659877629938912016-01-02T18:40:00.002+08:002016-01-02T18:40:53.138+08:002016. Let's study!Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
It's 2016 and I am 26.<br />
<br />
I have long passed the 25.<br />
<br />
And I felt old already.<br />
<br />
Luckily my life is not really suck.<br />
<br />
I have a stable job.<br />
<br />
I am writing novels and other things.<br />
<br />
I am struggling in my postgrad study.<br />
<br />
The best thing is I have my own room.<br />
<br />
Where I spent most of my time in it.<br />
<br />
I love to have my own space.<br />
<br />
My own bed.<br />
<br />
My own bookshelf.<br />
<br />
I don't need more than that.<br />
<br />
I am just simple girl.<br />
<br />
And I just love my life.<br />
<br />
But, not everyone is as lucky as I am.<br />
<br />
I hope to help more people.<br />
<br />
I hope to do more for society.<br />
<br />
Although sometime I can handle to help myself.<br />
<br />
I don't have much in this 2016.<br />
<br />
I just want to do more good things.<br />
<br />
Write more.<br />
<br />
And finish my study.<br />
<br />
Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
And I used this whole 3 days new year break finishing my unfinished assignment.<br />
<br />
I will finish my assignment.<br />
<br />
I will finish my study in less that 2 years from now.<br />
<br />
And I will graduate.<br />
<br />
2016.<br />
<br />
Let's study!Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-12492786662852042592015-11-10T18:50:00.003+08:002015-11-10T18:50:52.209+08:00To love or to be loved.Today, I cut my hair.<br />
<br />
It's a secret,<br />
<br />
I let my hair to get long because I fell in love with someone.<br />
<br />
I wanted to marry him and I thought I should marry with long hair.<br />
<br />
But, he married someone else.<br />
<br />
He never knows I am into him.<br />
<br />
I am fine.<br />
<br />
I think.<br />
<br />
Although I want to marry him, I never feel confidence to confess.<br />
<br />
Until the truth reveal.<br />
<br />
I think it a good things.<br />
<br />
But, it's not that easy.<br />
<br />
For couple of months, I think I can get over him.<br />
<br />
I just don't know if I can love someone like that anymore.<br />
<br />
But, after few months I met someone else.<br />
<br />
Someone I never thought I will be in love with.<br />
<br />
But, I was truly falling all over him.<br />
<br />
I asked him to marry me.<br />
<br />
But, I got rejected.<br />
<br />
He also has another person to be his wife.<br />
<br />
It's hurt to the hell.<br />
<br />
And I try to get over it and find someone else.<br />
<br />
It's crazy.<br />
<br />
But, I managed to fall in love again.<br />
<br />
And, courageously, I was proposing again.<br />
<br />
And, again, got rejected.<br />
<br />
I felt like, I am doing comedy rather than melodrama.<br />
<br />
Falling in love repeatedly and devastated with broken heart again and again.<br />
<br />
It's hurt.<br />
<br />
I cried everytime I remember it.<br />
<br />
But, I learnt a lot.<br />
<br />
So much things.<br />
<br />
Among them is, I can fall in love again and again.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's just not at the right person.<br />
<br />
And I can fall in love in many different ways.<br />
<br />
One day, if I really meet the right person, I will fall again.<br />
<br />
Till that time,<br />
<br />
I know, I just have to miss him.<br />
<br />
Someone who will be right for me.<br />
<br />
I cut my hair today,<br />
<br />
Because, I want to be my self.<br />
<br />
I want he to love me because of me.<br />
<br />
I would not like to be someone else to make others to love me.<br />
<br />
Because, how hard I am trying,<br />
<br />
The ones who didn't love will me, will stay like that.<br />
<br />
I will stop trying to please others.<br />
<br />
It's hard to be honest.<br />
<br />
I never have courage to tell anyone about this.<br />
<br />
Lucky, I can write.<br />
<br />
I can content my heart.<br />
<br />
That, I am not alone.<br />
<br />
I can write and at least, Allah knows my heart.<br />
<br />
Instead of pleasing others,<br />
<br />
I will try to please Him.<br />
<br />
And, He will grant me the love I need.<br />
<br />
It's something that I always believe after all had happened.<br />
<br />
He never leave me alone.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-71306558307339629352015-11-06T22:30:00.002+08:002015-11-06T22:30:59.169+08:00The Me?I think I will just be me.<br />
<br />
But, I really wonder which is me?<br />
<br />
Deep inside, I want to fall in love, be in love and feel to be loved.<br />
<br />
But, at one second I am scared.<br />
<br />
Do I will be treated in good way?<br />
<br />
Do he is the right one?<br />
<br />
Do he will love me forever?<br />
<br />
Do I will never stop to love him?<br />
<br />
And Do I have time for all these?<br />
<br />
I went through 10 years (and more) without lover.<br />
<br />
I can through this period too.<br />
<br />
I don't really need it actually.<br />
<br />
Maybe I just scared when everyone go to another phase of their life while I stuck here.<br />
<br />
Maybe I just jealous on something others people have that I don't have.<br />
<br />
Maybe I think it is the time.<br />
<br />
Maybe and maybe because a lot of reasons.<br />
<br />
But, the real me, what she will do?<br />
<br />
I don't know.<br />
<br />
But, she is beautiful, kindhearted, intelligent and talented.<br />
<br />
She will find her way.<br />
<br />
Her way.<br />
<br />
She will cry alone every night<br />
<br />
either when reading romantic novel and watching love story<br />
<br />
or when she prays and studies the Qur'an<br />
<br />
She will be that kind of person.<br />
<br />
Crying as much as she wants<br />
<br />
And smile brightly again and again in front of others.<br />
<br />
And she will write.<br />
<br />
Being honest at least to herself although she will pretend in front of others.<br />
<br />
That she.<br />
<br />
And she is me.Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-76815535400455471422015-11-06T19:53:00.001+08:002015-11-06T19:53:22.702+08:00Blog again. After more than a year.I think I am going to blog again.<br />
<br />
It's really hard for me to stop writing my personal journal and depend solely on Facebook. Too much people, too much audiences. I am not feeling secure to write my personal story there.<br />
<br />
I think, no body is going to look at my blog anymore. Its not really popular before and its much more unpopular now.<br />
<br />
My life is getting hard when I don't know to whom I should talk. I have this problem since young, that's the reason I start writing and express my feeling through it.<br />
<br />
But, I stop when life was too hard and I can't even write to share about that hard moment in my life.<br />
<br />
As I grow up and all the hard things seem bearable now. That's life, you need t go through it to grow.<br />
<br />
I will write back. My life, my feeling and anything I want. Just to let my heart be at peace. So, when I write I can cry with satisfaction. And I can feel better.<br />
<br />
A lot has happened since my last post. More than a year. I graduated, worked, failed in my work, work again, not really suitable, further my study, make a distance, start seriously writing, find my passion, fell in love, broken heart, fell in love again, again, broken heart, searching job, find unthinkable jobs and the latest I was offered and I was accepting to be part of something that I never think before.<br />
<br />
I also have my own room. New house. One by one, my childhood dream came true. I feel bless and grateful. I think, Allah is always there for me. In hard difficult time and even in easy and happy time. I shouldn't ask more. I should love and worship Him more.<br />
<br />
But, I am just human. And I need to talk out and express what I feel. How I am sick with this world, how I am disappointed with my self. About a lot of thing. I just want to write and tell.<br />
<br />
Therefore, I choose to blog again. I hope no one is reading. I could write a lot of secret things too... ^_^Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-51961190357334192742014-06-15T23:20:00.000+08:002014-06-15T23:23:27.506+08:00Bercinta seperti ini<br /><br />** PUISI BJ HABIBIE UNTUK ISTRINYA, AINUN **<br /><br />Sebenarnya ini bukan tentang kematianmu, bukan itu. ..<br /><br />Karena, aku tahu bahwa semua yang ada pasti menjadi tiada pada akhirnya, ...<br /><br />dan kematian adalah sesuatu yang pasti ...<br /><br />dan kali ini adalah giliranmu untuk pergi, aku sangat tahu itu ....<br /><br /><div>
Tapi yang membuatku tersentak sedemikian hebat, ..<br /></div>
<div>
adalah kenyataan bahwa kematian benar-benar dapat memutuskan kebahagiaan dalam diri seseorang, sekejap saja, lalu rasanya mampu membuatku menjadi nelangsa setengah mati, hatiku seperti tak di tempatnya, dan tubuhku serasa kosong melompong, hilang isi ....<br /></div>
<div>
Kau tahu sayang, rasanya seperti angin yang tiba-tiba hilang berganti kemarau gersang ...<br /></div>
<div>
Pada airmata yang jatuh kali ini, aku selipkan salam perpisahan panjang, ..<br /></div>
<div>
pada kesetiaan yang telah kau ukir, pada kenangan pahit manis selama kau ada, ...<br /></div>
<div>
aku bukan hendak mengeluh, tapi rasanya terlalu sebentar kau disini ...<br /></div>
<div>
Mereka mengira aku lah kekasih yang baik bagimu sayang, ..<br /></div>
<div>
tanpa mereka sadari, bahwa kaulah yang menjadikan aku kekasih yang baik ..<br /></div>
<div>
mana mungkin aku setia padahal memang kecenderunganku adalah mendua, tapi kau ajarkan aku kesetiaan, sehingga aku setia, kau ajarkan aku arti cinta, sehingga aku mampu mencintaimu seperti ini ...<br /></div>
<div>
Selamat jalan, ..<br /></div>
<div>
Kau dari-Nya, dan kembali pada-Nya, ...<br /></div>
<div>
kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada ...<br /></div>
<div>
selamat jalan sayang, ..<br /></div>
<div>
cahaya mataku, penyejuk jiwaku, ...<br /></div>
<div>
selamat jalan, ...<br /></div>
<div>
calon bidadari surgaku ...<br /><br />- HABIBIE -</div>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-69890912736733492942014-06-02T18:52:00.002+08:002014-06-02T18:57:52.218+08:00Kembara harapan ke Patani, Narathiwat dan Yala<br />
Barangkali kerana cinta saya kembali ke sini. Masih tergambar cebisan kertas yang tertulis kata-kata apresiasi dari anak-anak perempuan seusia awal belasan tahun yang nyata suka dan bahagia dengan kehadiran kumpulan kecil kami mengajar bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris di perkampungan nelayan pesisir laut.<br />
<br />
Juga anak-anak lelaki yang sedang riang bermain, berhenti lalu mengejar serta mengikuti kami bersiar-siar keliling desa menikmati alunan bayu laut dan damai penempatannya dengan kendera motosikal memuatkan kami seramai 6 orang.<br />
<br />
Juga ketika saya memimpin tangan anak kecil yang menangis pulang ke rumahnya dan begitu gembira sepanjang perjalanan walau teman-teman lainnya kurang senang dengan sikap keanak-anakannya itu. Ah, bagi saya mereka memang anak-anak yang perlu perhatian dan belaian walau dipandang 'mengada-ada' sahaja! Saya bahagia dan jatuh cinta.<br />
<br />
Maka berkali-kali hati menerpa mahu kembali, memandang anak-anak itu dan mimpi indah yang bisa terlakar dalam benak dan jiwa mereka. Saya resah dengan masa depan mereka yang sekadar mimpi ngeri atau samar bayangan. Kerana ternyata wilayah itu menabur seribu satu tragedi dan terselit kemelut yang sekian lama berpanjangan, entah bila mahu bertemu pengakhirannya.<br />
<br />
Barangkali sebab hidup ini satu perjuangan, mereka teguh bertahan dan saya menimba pengajaran. Peluang untuk memahami kehidupan bukan sekadar hidup. Namun hidup dengan kecintaan untuk memberi dan berkongsi bahagia, harapan dan impian. Maka, dengan seribu satu halangan, saya aturkan sebuah pengembaraan sebagai pemula sebuah impian.<br />
<br />
Patani Darussalam satu ketika dahulu adalah sebuah kerajaan Melayu-Islam yang terkenal dan hebat. Pada zaman kegemilangannya, wilayah itu pernah diperintah oleh ratu (raja perempuan) dan terkenal dengan pemilikan meriam besar Patani yang dibawa dari Turki sebagai salah satu pertahanan daripada ancaman luar.<br />
<br />
Namun, tidak mudah mempertahankannya, dengan Siam bertalu-talu menyerang, akhirnya Patani jatuh jua ke tangan Siam dengan sebahagian wilayahnya (di semenanjung tanah melayu) dipisahkan dan tertakluk kepada British. Sehingga kini, Patani masih dijajah Siam (Thailand) dengan sebahagian wilayah yang tertakluk kepada British tadi mencapai merdeka dan menjadi sebahagian daripada Persekutuan Tanah Melayu (Malaysia).<br />
<br />
Ketika kudeta yang berlangsung di Bangkok kini dengan tentera berkuasa dan perdana menteri ditahan serta darurat dikuatkuasakan seluruh negara, masyarakat dunia semakin gentar untuk merentas sempadan menuju wilayah selatan Thailand yang memang setelah sekian lama bertahun-tahun hidup dalam darurat, sentiasa dikawal dan diperhatikan.<br />
<br />
Sesuatu yang tidak diketahui, sedang Bangkok dan kawasan-kawasan lain di Thailand diletakkan dalam keadaan darurat kerana rampasan kuasa oleh tentera baru-baru ini sahaja, sedangkan selatan Thailand yang merangkumi wilayah Patani, Yala dan Narathiwat menghadapi situasi yang sama sepanjang masa selama bertahun-tahun lamanya.<br />
<br />
Ditambah lagi dengan pelbagai kes yang menafikan hak asasi manusia seperti pembunuhan, pengeboman, penyembelihan, penangkapan secara paksa, kehilangan serta lainnya yang didiamkan dan dipadam atau diputarbelitkan dalam pelbagai media di peringkat antarabangsa.<br />
<br />
Malah di peringkat tempatan, di kalangan penduduk tiga wilayah itu sendiri tidak menyedari pencabulan hak terhadap mereka berlaku. Setiap tahun, bilangan anak yatim dan ibu tunggal semakin bertambah di samping pesatnya gejala sosial yang merosakkan seperti penagihan dadah dan jangkitan virus HIV.<br />
<br />
Dalam seribu satu tragedi yang mengesankan emosi dan jiwa ini, beberapa individu yang punya kesedaran melalui pelbagai saluran merasakan nasib anak-anak ini mesti dibela. Mahu tidak mahu sokongan psikologi, motivasi juga pendidikan adalah sangat penting selain ekonomi dan materi. Sungguh, graduan segar seperti saya tidak punya wang ringgit selain jasad anggota untuk digerakkan dalam usaha ini.<br />
<br />
Niat kami mudah, mendekati anak-anak Patani dan bersama-sama mereka mengharung cabaran dunia globalisasi yang mencabar ini. Mediumnya pelbagai, barangkali melalui program pendidikan bersifat akademik dan ilmiah, mungkin juga diskusi moral dan spiritual yang membangunkan jiwa atau gerak kerja komuniti dan aktivisme yang mengeratkan persaudaraan.<br />
<br />
Segalanya, asal kehadiran kita dirasai mereka dan mereka menjadi sebahagian warga yang perlu disedari dunia kewujudannya serta hak mereka mempertahankan impian, harapan dan masa depan mereka tidak dipandang sebelah mata.<br />
<br />
Niat yang mudah itu tidak semudahnya dipraktiskan dengan ketakutan yang melanda masyarakat dalam konflik selatan Thai, siapa saja yang berani menyeberang ke sempadan? Mahu bertemu anak-anak ini dan meraikan kewujudan mereka sebagai sebahagian daripada masyarakat dunia.<br />
<br />
Siapa saja yang sanggup meluangkan masa, ke daerah bahaya ini dengan setiap kilometer perjalanan ada saja soldadu yang menjaga dan memerhati kereta? Siapa saja yang tidak gentar dengan pengeboman yang tidak kunjung reda yang mengorbankan penduduk tidak berdosa dan menyebabkan kecederaan kekal kepada ramai masyarakatnya demi menjaga kepentingan pihak tertentu?<br />
<br />
Siapa yang mahu bertemu anak-anak yatim dan kehilangan tempat bergantung kerana pencabulan hak asasi manusia ini? Inilah persoalannya. Kerana tidak dinafikan soal bahaya yang mungkin kunjung tiba dan kematian itu milik semua.<br />
<br />
Cuma, ada beberapa aktivis kemanusiaan yang kekal melaksanakannya bertahun-tahun dari usia muda, dan masih sihat walafiat sehingga hari ini. Malah saya dan teman-teman belum lagi bertemu sebarang kesulitan sepanjang perjalanan dan program yang dijalankan.<br />
<br />
Keberanian dan kemahuan yang kuat itu diperlukan untuk melaksanakan sesuatu yang lebih besar dan bermakna. Sesungguhnya, daerah yang saya maksudkan ini, terlalu hampir dengan negara kita Malaysia yang aman, makmur, tenteram dan damai sentosa. ā 29 Mei, 2014.<br />
<br />
- See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/rencana/article/kembara-harapan-ke-patani-narathiwat-dan-yala-amalina-ismail#sthash.af0rxBR5.dpuf<br />
<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-12613450725469101272014-05-11T13:49:00.001+08:002014-05-11T13:50:52.140+08:00Perjuangan Bangsa<p>Negeri itu punya 3 kelompok utama bangsa. Seringkali terlupa begitu banyak lagi bangsa kecil lain yang terabai dan terpencil. Maka negeri itu sering berdepan polemik. Polemik antara bangsa.</p>
<p>Ada satu bangsa majoriti. Paling ramai sekali. Namun, hakikatnya ia masih berpecah-belah oleh macam-macam suku dan sakat.Maka dimudahkan fahaman, diberi pengertian rasmi, bangsa itu biar apapun sukunya, asal praktik bahasa, budaya dan agama serupa.Maka termasuk dalam bangsa majoriti. Hingga ada yang lupa terus suku sakat asalnya. Mengaku diri bangsa majoriti. Malah, bangsa-bangsa kecil yang terpencil itu juga cuba jadi bangsa majoriti. Ya, asal bahasa, budaya, agama sama. Tidak sukar.</p>
<p>Tetapi dalam kitab agama bangsa majoriti terpapar kata, “Wahai umat manusia! Sesungguhnya Kami menciptakan kamu dari lelaki dan perempuan, dan Kami menjadikan kamu berbagai bangsa dan bersuku puak, supaya kamu berkenal-kenalan (dan beramah mesra antara satu dengan yang lain). Sesungguhnya semulia-mulia kamu di sisi Allah ialah orang yang lebih taqwanya di antara kamu, (bukan yang lebih keturunan atau bangsanya). Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahuai, lagi Maha Mendalam PengetahuanNya (akan keadaan dan amalan kamu)”.</p>
<p>Mahu tidak mahu bangsa majoriti perlu akui, kitab yang diimani mereka sendiri memahat hakikat, dicipta manusia dari pelbagai bangsa dan tidak mungkin dihilangkan atau dihapuskan bangsa selainnya kerana diminta Tuhan supaya antara bangsa-bangsa itu untuk saling mengenal, memahami dan mengerti.</p>
<p>Bukan saling membuang jati diri bangsa dan menjadi bangsa majoriti.</p>
<p>Jadi jangan taksub jadi majoriti, jangan kecil jadi minoriti. Mengikut hukum hakiki, keadilan itu milik setiap insani. Jika tidak ditemukan di jagat fana ini, pasti terbalas di alam abadi. Itu pasti.</p>
<p>Namun, percaya pada karma dan balasan baik-buruk, tidak jadikan jiwa itu lemah.Mengalah dan menyerah. Perjuangan adalah hak untuk hidup mulia sebagai insan mahupun bangsa.Ya, berjuang saja semahunya, cuma jangan terlupa dunia ini dikongsi sama rata, dalam berjuang sesukanya, ada hak dan kepentingan insan dan bangsa lain perlu diperkira.Baik majoriti mahu minoriti. Baik yang diwar-warkan mahu terpencil diam. Semuanya mesti dibela.</p>
<p>Jadi berjuanglah dengan adab sebagai bangsa manusia yang dikarunia akal untuk mencari hikmah.Kebenaran jika tidak dibicara dengan hikmah boleh jadi kebatilan, kebatilan jika disusun dengan hikmah boleh sampai kebenaran pada yang menerima.</p>
<p>Itulah rahsia hidup bersama di dunia penuh rencam. Memang benar, kadang-kala perselisihan, pergaduhan, pembunuhan serta peperangan tidak dapat dielakkan. Namun, jika terlaksana permusuhan dengan hikmah ketuhanan, bukan sekadar nafsu yang merajai, ia boleh jadi keberkatan dalam kehidupan.</p>
<p>Banyak lagi rahsia dalam hidup ini. Perlu hati-hati disingkap dengan akal nubari.</p>
<p>Jadi, jangan gelojoh bicara, berbuat mahupun berjuang semahunya. Teliti situasi dan konsekuensi.</p>
<p>Jika boleh berjuang dalam damai kenapa mahu berperang berbunuh-bunuhan? <br></p>
<p>http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/rencana/article/amalina-ismail<br>
</p>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-45281855649020476602014-05-04T23:16:00.003+08:002014-05-04T23:16:47.745+08:00Keep Calm and Feel Better<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--aB5Zmgb0x8/U2ZZs2XeKJI/AAAAAAAAAo0/deMz85FgoHk/s1600/keep-calm-and-feel-better-soon-9.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--aB5Zmgb0x8/U2ZZs2XeKJI/AAAAAAAAAo0/deMz85FgoHk/s1600/keep-calm-and-feel-better-soon-9.png" height="320" width="274" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Itās actually hurt a lot when you love someone but the real
is she/he doesnāt love you back like you are. They actually donāt want to be
with you and ignoring you. Thatās why love one side is killing and people tend
to act out of normal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a person that is really sensitive, easily upset, easily
crying, easily angry, easily hurting. I can easily feel and the feeling also
easily diminishing. People sometime amaze by how easily my mood changing. Itās
just I feel too much but do not put time to think about it too much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In order to forget all the ill feeling, I occupy myself on
other thing. Like many people done because to feel down and overwhelmed only
cause harm to me, my self. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I choose to stop thinking about the feel, the problem, the
person. Till I stop talking and interact with it (worst cases). Since I will be
hurt only to be around, so, just leave it and move on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I spend time crying before it. Cry for couple
minutes, to hours or days (depend on situation). But, then start a fresh with
new determination. Forget, forgive and move on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life will never easy. And you will never stop hurting people
and being hurt by. But, life will go on right? And itās not easy to satisfy
all. Just live the way you feel right and try to change for the better, one
step for a time. Not only to make people love you but importantly to have God
love you, and that have to be our main purpose in life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thatās why, do not rely too much on people, because how nice
and beautiful a relationship can be, people will hurt you on the journey. If
that happen, you already prepare to learn how human you and they are. We hurt
each other and we comfort one another.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learnt it in life. How easily I can be hurt, and how
easily I try to forget by do not think too much after crying out alone. Of
course then, I move on. Try to forgive, make it distance (to avoid being hurt
again) and appreciate to be alive and sound. People is just an obstacle that
God give us to strength us. To make us realize, how weak we are and how much we
need Him in our life.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And of course learn how exactly we have to behave as person
and human. Since we may be in right or wrong side, we have to be open and
humbly to accept others. And I am a person who always think I am wrong but the
same time feel hard to change and comfortable to be in wrong. However, I learn
that I have to adjust although little by little from time to time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-4879827368782844442014-05-04T22:42:00.002+08:002014-05-04T22:42:54.649+08:00The Lazy Millionaire (Book Review)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-diT4b1m9PS4/U2ZRMHG3OOI/AAAAAAAAAok/OPSMRCMXMqY/s1600/the+lazy+millionaire+mine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-diT4b1m9PS4/U2ZRMHG3OOI/AAAAAAAAAok/OPSMRCMXMqY/s1600/the+lazy+millionaire+mine.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This book has 160 pages (only). But it looks quite thick. (I
learn later that the paper use is heavier than usual books, may be its about
millionaire, so, the paper represent the wealth too) Therefore, in couple of
travelling time in a week, I finished it. Amazingly because nowadays to have me
finished the whole book is quite something.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not really interested to be millionaire. But, in life,
who donāt need money. And, I am really depended to it. So, reading this book make
me feel quite happy with how life can be for a lazy millionaire. Something that
I feel quite similar what I want to be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This book contains two parts; part one is about lazy
millionaire and the second one is the art of always being on vacation. There
are 16 chapters in first part and 10 chapters in the second. Every chapter do
not really have much pages, low than 10 and several can have only 3 to 4 pages
only. Thatās make reading become easier and the way the author conveys, his
story by trying to communicate with reader with arrangement of sentences and
phrases make reading more fun.</div>
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<br /></div>
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For the first part, the author teaches reader how to be
millionaire by first chapter, he elaborate the definition of lazy millionaire
which person who acquire significant millions of fortune but do not really work
hard to acquire it. He just lives like a simple person, living the life he love
but he is just wealthy by his own effort (the lazy way). This part taught us
that how to manage our life effectively so that we can live a healthy life. How
to manage our asset, our priority, our time, our spending, our mind and so on,
so, we can live like a lazy millionaire. What I love most is that the author
himself is the lazy millionaire. He is a writer (which a career that I aim to
be) and a person who own a company and collect property asset (homes and a lot
of homes to make him millionaire by collect this asset). Since, he is writer (a
successful one) it make me love him (or the book) even more.</div>
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Later, for part two, the author shows how we can live our
life like we are having vacation all the time. Actually, this part is for
people who are coping with hectic way of life through demanding work and
lifestyle. Itās not really suitable for unemployed person like me who always
living day like summer holiday. However, this chapter makes a reminder,
something like that (busy lifestyle) can happen if Iām not prepared and
recognize to what kind of life Iām going to lead. Itās not that life can always
be relaxing and rest. But, life is more than working (even worst if the work is
something we hate to do). I love to be involved in volunteering work,
traveling, and spending time at home (a lot). May be I should be a housewife
(after getting married). </div>
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Nevertheless, I want to improve myself, my capability
is beyond that (a housewife, but, I do not mean a housewife is not good, itās
the best but I am not the best for it). I am a person who always scored for
perfect result during my school day, ambitious young lady who always dream to
achieve the best in life, which I realize later what kind of dream and reality
are. Therefore, I strive to achieve a better life, a healthy lifestyle, a perfect
career and some space for me to live the way I want to live.</div>
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The second part of this book show how life can be if we try
to change. However, life is not as easy as writing and reading books. Each of
people leads a different kind of life. For me, this book is just compatible for
me since I just love the idea of lazy millionaire and how much I want to be
writer and being comfort in my lifestyle without anxious about living expenses
and so on.</div>
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My recommendation, those who want to lead a free lifestyle,
do not want to be tie up with 8 hours working hour, who do not mind about
office clothes and etiquette, who just want to be creatively artistic and work
to present what in the mind and heart, who love to be leisured and living
effective life and at the same time do not worry about money. This book is just
perfect for you (just perfect for me!).</div>
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Thanks to my best friend who presented the book for me since
my habit is to slip through my lips the word ālazyā all the time when we talk.
Clearly, I admit how lazy myself and how much it affect my life. For that
reason, this book taught me how the laziness also can lead me into flourishing
lifestyle if I handle my life well.</div>
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Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-46789841022211993542014-04-19T10:23:00.002+08:002014-04-26T18:43:26.285+08:00Perasaan<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Cara paling baik berhenti mengingati ialah berhenti
berbicara. Berhenti menyebut-nyebut. Berhenti berandai-andai. Berhenti
berangan-angan. Maka, kerana saya berniat mahu melupakan. Saya memilih untuk
menghentikan.</div>
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Hidup seakan aneh sekali. Kebiasaan menjadikan satu
makna pada pertemuan, pada perhubungan. Menyentuh hati dan perasaan. Siapa yang
bisa mengawal rasa? Ia seakan mustahil namun bukan tidak mungkin. Sungguh, ia
mujahadah yang mengorbankan sebahagian kecil jiwa.</div>
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Kenangan. Ia
paling mencengkam rasa. Melihat lakaran memori seakan terawang-awangan mahu
kembali. Berkira-kira mahu bermimpi merasa lagi. Namun, sifat kenangan hanya
gambaran masa silam. Mungkin mampu diulang tayang tapi berbeza keadaan.</div>
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Ada bertanya. Kenapa tidak bangun bertahan? Bukan
dosa menyimpan perasaan. Mengapa diam tidak meluah impian? Jawapan hanya
sekadar senyuman. Sungguh hidup suatu keanehan. Perasaan barangkali satu
kedegilan yang memaparkan kepentingan nafsi semata. Ya, barangkali. Kerna yang
pasti hanya milik Ilahi.</div>
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Dan takdir itu juga milik-Nya. Bukan mahu mengalah,
menerima tanpa berusaha. Namun, memaksa dan melukakan juga mampu dikira jenayah
perasaan. Redakanlah hati dengan tenang bahawa Dia lebih memahami fitrah dan
sifat makhluk yang dicipta. </div>
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Maka melupakan, menanti dengan yakin dan mengharap
Dia semata. Betapa indah kenangan perasaan, tiada yang lebih menggiurkan ketika
jiwa dan nurani terisi nama-Nya. Kerna yang sementara itu beza dengan yang
kekal abadi. Begitu terfaham pada perasaan juga.<br />
<br />
Sajak: Kalaupun Tidak<br />
Kalaupun dia tidak tahu kita menyukainya,<br />
Kalaupun dia tidak tahu kita merindukannya,<br />
Kalaupun dia tidak tahu kita menghabiskan waktu memikirkannya,<br />
Maka itu tetap cinta.<br />
Tidak berkurang se-sen pun perasaan tersebut.<br />
Justeru dengan ngotot ingin bilang, ingin pacaran, ingin aneh-aneh, perasaan itu tiba-tiba metamorfosis menjadi egoisme dan sebatas keinginan yang tidak terkendali saja.<br />
Bersabar dan diam lebih baik. Jika memang jodoh akan terbuka sendiri jalan terbaiknya. Jika tidak, akan diganti dengan orang yang lebih baik.<br />
*TereLiye<br />
<br /></div>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-70232171726290249182014-04-16T03:13:00.000+08:002014-04-16T03:24:19.420+08:00Hak Asasi Milik Manusia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6EFh3QLLhnE/U02EwZ6kL6I/AAAAAAAAAoE/fMkoEHP4dK0/s1600/UNHRC.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6EFh3QLLhnE/U02EwZ6kL6I/AAAAAAAAAoE/fMkoEHP4dK0/s1600/UNHRC.png" height="320" width="252" /></span></a></div>
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<span lang="MS">Penciptaan
makhluk yang bernama manusia itu saja sudah bersifat 'hak'. Berbeza dengan
makhluk lain, haiwan dan tumbuhan, manusia diciptakan dengan keupayaan untuk
menentukan hak dirinya dengan kurniaan akal yang pastinya tidak dipunyai haiwan
mahupun tumbuhan yang hidupnya diatur Tuhan menurut sunnatullah.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Dalam perbahasan panjang Sayyid Abul A'la
Al-Maududi dalam bukunya Asas-asas Islam, beliau menerangkan bahawa Islam
meyakini setiap penciptaan Allah itu Islam sifatnya iaitu tunduk dan patuh.
Taat dengan perintah dan aturan yang ditentukan Allah. Makanya semua dari
segala macam hidupan haiwan, tumbuhan hatta manusia sehingga makhluk tak
bernyawa seperti batu, air dan udara adalah Islam. Setiap dari mereka
diciptakan dengan kudrat dan iradat yang terbatas yang menaati Penciptanya.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Namun, manusia dicipta berbeza atau mungkin lebih
sesuai diistilahkan penciptaannya adalah istimewa. Manusia secara fizikalnya
atau jasmani seperti pertumbuhan pembesaran, fungsi dan pergerakan organ dan
anggota serta lainnya adalah bersifat Islam. Iaitu mematuhi sunnatullah. Pertumbuhan
manusia adalah dari anak kecil bayi, meningkat kanak-kanak, baligh, dewasa dan
tua. Tiada yang melawan susunan ini. Kalaupun ada ia adalah kejadian khusus
yang jarang-jarang berlaku menjadi bukti kekuasaan Sang Pencipta. Begitu juga
fungsi setiap anggota dan organ tubuh. Sifatnya hakiki. Mulut untuk makan, mata
untuk melihat, telinga untuk mendengar. Manusia sejak azali tidak mampu memilih
untuk makan dengan mata atau mendengar dengan mulut. Jika pun ada yang mahu
mencabarnya, usaha itu sia-sia, sekadar mengundang bahaya.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Akal itu menjadikan penciptaan manusia istimewa.
Akal memberikan hak kepada manusia berbeza dengan makhluk lain malah berbeza
dari sifat fizikal dirinya. Ini bermaksud sifat hak yang diberikan itu dalaman
atau rohani. Ya, akal yang diberi itu ghaib sifatnya. Tidak kelihatan pada mata
kasar namun wujud persis dan dipercayai dengan yakin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Maka, dengan akallah manusia diberi amanah besar
menjadi khalifah di muka bumi ini. Mentadbir alam sesuai dengan keupayaan akal
yang dibimbing oleh wahyu dan petunjuk Tuhan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="MS">[Kemudian
Ia menyempurnakan kejadiannya, serta meniupkan padanya: roh-Nya. Dan Ia
mengurniakan kepada kamu pendengaran dan penglihatan serta hati (akal fikiran),
(supaya kamu bersyukur, tetapi) amatlah sedikit kamu yang bersyukur] āSurah As-Sajadah
ayat 9.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span lang="MS">[Dan Ia
telah mengajarkan Nabi Adam, akan segala nama benda-benda dan gunanya, kemudian
ditunjukkannya kepada malaikat lalu berfirman: āTerangkanlah kepada-Ku nama
benda-benda ini semuanya jika kamu golongan yang benar.] ā Surah Al-Baqarah
ayat 31.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span lang="MS">Sejak
penciptaan Adam a.s. lagi akal dikurniakan sekali bersama pangajaran dari
Tuhan. Jelas, fungsi akal tidak mungkin bermakna dan benar tanpa pendidikan
atau ilmu dari Tuhan. Akal semata-mata menjadikan manusia sekadar makhluk yang
sesat dalam pencariannya. Malah lebih sesat dari haiwan dan makhluk tidak
bernyawa lain yang hidupnya semata-mata mengikut petunjuk dan aturan Tuhan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Itulah
yang saya percaya dan premis utama saya dalam berbicara soal hak asasi manusia.
Bagi saya tiada sebab hak asasi bukan milik manusia kerana hakikat kejadian
manusia itu sendiri adalah satu hak yang diberikan Tuhan kepada manusia. Maka,
memperjuangkan hak asasi manusia bagi saya adalah sunnatullah. Ya, biar apapun
hak yang cuba diperjuangkan, semuanya adalah ketentuan yang Allah berikan
kepada manusia untuk mengamalkan kurniaannya yang istimewa ini.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Namun,
berbicara soal hak asasi manusia sejagat, pertembungan dan perbezaan adalah
kemestian. Oleh kerana setiap manusia itu diberi hak oleh Allah, maka hak yang
mereka mahukan pasti berlainan antara satu sama lain mengikut latar belakang
sosio-budaya atau kepercayaan masing-masing. Maka perjuangan adalah sesuatu
yang panjang dan berterusan. Soalnya kini bagaimana perjuangan ini
dilaksanakan?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Oleh sebab
Allah telah mengurniakan akal yang memberikan hak pada setiap insan, maka
kaedah perjuangan itu juga pelbagai. Ada kelompok memaksakan hak secara perang
fizikal, ada pihak menggunakan ruang diplomasi dan dialog, ada dengan pengutkuasaan
undang-undang dan banyak lagi cara lainnya. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Kaedah-kaedah
ini tidak akan berhenti setakat itu. Limitasi penggunaan akal itu masih dalam
rahsia Tuhan. Tidak tahu sejauh mana manusia mampu mengolah kehidupan dan alam
dalam memenuhi haknya melalui penggunaan akal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Cuma agama
dan kepercayaan wujudnya kehidupan selepas kematian menjadikan manusia yang
beriman itu mempunyai garis panduan untuk apa dan bagaimana hak itu diperjuangkan.
Menurut Sayyid Abul Aāla Al-Maududi, hukum Syariah Islamiyyah menetapkan empat
hak yang mesti dilindungi oleh setiap peribadi manusia iaitu:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">1. Hak-hak
Allah<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">2. Hak-hak
diri<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">3. Hak-hak
manusia lain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">4. Hak-hak
makhluk<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Tidaklah
saya mahu membahaskan panjang lebar berkaitan setiap hak berikut. Cukuplah
difahami di sini bahawa setiap hak yang digariskan ini adalah kewajipan untuk
setiap individu yang beriman itu menunaikannya dengan penuh keikhlasan, amanah
dan kebenaran. Selain itu, setiap hak itu telah ditentukan langkah-langkah
pelaksanaannya supaya manusia dapat menunaikannya tanpa menyempitkan sesuatu
hak yang lain mengikut batas-batas dan syarat-syarat yang ditentukan. Ini
adalah salah satu ciri-ciri agama iaitu tidak melampaui batas biarpun dalam
menunaikan hak-hak kepada Tuhan. Apatah lagi sesama manusia dan makhluk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="MS">Sungguh,
hak asasi benar-benar milik manusia. Malah, kerana ditaklifkan manusia itu
dengan kurniaan istimewa bernama āhakā, maka tergalas baginya untuk memastikan
hak-hak lainnya turut terbela.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-83301736301247148422014-04-06T17:03:00.002+08:002014-04-06T17:03:38.332+08:00First Quarter Evaluation<a href="http://amalmina.blogspot.com/2014/01/2014-jalan-yang-saya-pilih.html"><span style="color: black;">http://amalmina.blogspot.com/2014/01/2014-jalan-yang-saya-pilih.html</span></a><br />
<br />
Menyemak entri tahun baru setelah suku tahun berlalu. Ya, muhasabah itu perlu.<br />
<br />
Menyemak senarai entri yang telah ditulis bermula awal tahun sehingga yang terbaru. Ternyata saya memang perlu menyemak status diri. Kelihatan keadaan diri yang makin merudum melalui penulisan yang terlampir.<br />
<br />
Apa yang perlu saya buat? Berkali-kali saya bertanya pada diri.<br />
<br />
Its feel burden, guilt, and others negative feeling appear in least than three month.<br />
<br />
Berkali-kali saya mahu lari, tinggalkan segalanya.<br />
<br />
Namun, rasanya saya sudah makin dewasa, walau terselit seribu satu pemikiran yang tidak matang.<br />
<br />
Saya memilih untuk bertahan.<br />
<br />
That seem very difficult decision. But, that adult will do right? Sustain although its hard enough.<br />
<br />
Kemudian saya war-warkan sebuah keputusan. Meneruskan pengajian (atau menukar bidang).<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10202782412457288&set=a.1348189060672.2051453.1109689110&type=1&relevant_count=1"><span style="color: black;">https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10202782412457288&set=a.1348189060672.2051453.1109689110&type=1&relevant_count=1</span></a><br />
<br />
Dan respon yang diterima sedikit sebanyak menguatkan jiwa. Sungguh, saya seorang ekstrovert, energi dari manusia dan insan di luar amat diperlukan untuk saya terus maju ke hadapan.<br />
<br />
Walau, saya diselubungi kebimbangan, adakah benar ini jalan hidup yang saya benar-benar saya mahukan?<br />
<br />
Semak kembali azam tahun baru 2014. Tidaklah teruk sangat, ada yang berjaya saya laksanakan, ada yang saya laksanakan separuh jalan (lebih baik dari tiada).<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Azam tahun baru 2014-01-01<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. āPassionā perlu ditentukan dalam tempoh setahun ini dan untuk tahun-tahun berikutnya, saya akan berlari untuknya.</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">ini memang sukar. Saya masih mahu menulis. Kerana itu saya memilih Master in Publishing, barangkali secara berperingkat-peringkat saya kembali mampu mengarang setelah sekian lama meninggalkan. Namun, terlalu banyak yang ingin saya teroka. Dan semua itu menakutkan kerana saya sendiri tidak pasti kemampuan diri dan mimpi yang benar-benar ingin saya gapai.</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. Menulis. A. Samad Said selalu berpesan; membaca, membaca, membaca dan menulis. Baca sebuah buku (minimum) setiap minggu (walau tidak habis) untuk dapatkan ilmu pengetahuan yang baru dan berbeza serta menulis setiap minggu. (sama ada blog, artikel atau travelog)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">saya menulis. Ada 3 artikel berkaitan isu. namun, mulai bulan mac, saya seakan hilang arah. masih membaca dan banyak idea. namun, berdepan papan kekunci dan layar komputer riba. saya buntu. Rasanya, setiap bulan 1 artikel quite fine right. Sorry that I can't really chase the issue and do writing for each of them. Then, I really want to write cerpen (novel actually). to do story find much more difficult now.. huh!</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. Lesen. Tiada lagi alasan. 2014 ini saya sudah mampu memecut kereta di atas jalan raya. Mula berjimat untuk membayar ansuran bulanan kereta.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">masih tersangkut di L. saya tak bertemu masa untuk kelas memandu. tidaklah terlalu sibuk namun, 2 jam untuk belajar memandu seakan begitu sukar ditemui. haish!</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">4. Kerjaya. Sebuah kedai untuk KO-PKPIM Berhad. Gaji RM 3,000.00 (minimum) bila tahun 2014 berakhir.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">this is fun and adventurous. working in KO-PKPIM BHD can be really stressing but at the same time enjoyable. I don't really know what exactly I'm doing, no planning, just going through. with intention to survive myself financially and PKPIM for long term journey. actually, I learnt a lot through a year of working but since I am so lacking nothing improving or worsening may be. But, I manage to get a site in Bangi Gateway shopping complex to put the items on sale there. The best thing, there are workers there to help selling and operating, I just put the goods and once a week check the sale and stock. Only the rent quite high, 20% from overall sale. I always want a lot there, a shop in bangi and Bangi Gateway as new location seem promising. That's why I told, sometime fun thing can happen in strenuous situation. I am going to venture business that I'm not really fond to but, its make money, so why not? the RM 3,000.00 salary, I don't know if can happen but if I'm further study, I will not really work but the business will carry on. May be not much money but still the money can survive me somehow. Hopefully...</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">5. Aktiviti Sosial. Laksanakan satu program (minimum) setiap bulan. Bukan lagi sertai tapi ketuai pelaksanaannya. Jadi berani dan yakin dengan diri.</span></div>
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<ul>
<li>this worst ever! last year, I just conduct one wacana. This year, I just manage to do Sekolah Massa Ekonomi with Abang Naim Jaafar. I attend a lot of program, I want to do a lot of thing too. But, I've no confident in doing. Fazril really make me small. I think, why I've to compare myself with him? But, it seem he did everything that actually I need to do. When, Abang Syazwan ask me to prepare all the items (report and so on) for each current issues that appear recently, I feel hopeless. I'm don't really have time to follow each and everything. Or may be I have but, I just love to find excuses for something that I don't really intend to do. And its just hated me everywhere. But, I really want to do. Actually a lot. But alone and without partner or team to consult and plan together, I've no confidence to move on. All the paperwork if happen to be written, is safe keeping in my computer folder. If not, its just in my imagination and my mind. But then, azam tahun baru never mention PKPIM. I can do anything, not only related to my portfolio and PKPIM. May be I've to swim farther. Something I love, not because I've to do. Because the thing I've to do, do not make me desire to do.</li>
</ul>
That's why, azam tahun baru is very important. At least, I've benchmark in everything I did. A shabby person that always do thing spontaneously like me always don't know what to do and where to go. Now, every quarter of year (once in three months) I can do evaluation. How far I've go and how far I need to go.<br />
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I find some mediocre to surpass my target. So, I need some modification and specialization. Hopefully, it can improve my way of life...<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Azam tahun baru 2014-01-01<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. āPassionā perlu ditentukan dalam tempoh setahun ini dan untuk tahun-tahun berikutnya, saya akan berlari untuknya.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">focus on writing, travelling, potential exploration, and books business</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. Menulis. A. Samad Said selalu berpesan; membaca, membaca, membaca dan menulis. Baca sebuah buku (minimum) setiap minggu (walau tidak habis) untuk dapatkan ilmu pengetahuan yang baru dan berbeza serta menulis setiap minggu. (sama ada blog, artikel atau travelog)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">an article each month and try make it publish on paper or magazine</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">blog entri on book review, travelog or opinion essay</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. Lesen. Tiada lagi alasan. 2014 ini saya sudah mampu memecut kereta di atas jalan raya. Mula berjimat untuk membayar ansuran bulanan kereta.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">try every monday at least to have class. 4 class only. Please!!!</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">4. Kerjaya. Sebuah kedai untuk KO-PKPIM Berhad. Gaji RM 3,000.00 (minimum) bila tahun 2014 berakhir.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">a schedule please. Since life will always moving a schedule is very necessary!!!</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">5. Aktiviti Sosial. Laksanakan satu program (minimum) setiap bulan. Bukan lagi sertai tapi ketuai pelaksanaannya. Jadi berani dan yakin dengan diri.</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">April : Usrah with KDH</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">May : Seminar Revolusi Bakat with Abg Naim</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Jun : Induction trip with Pasukan Penyelidik</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Julai : Iftar Pasukan Penyelidik</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Ogos : Birthday Party ^_^ + Open House</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">September : Usrah with UM</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Oktober : Session with Prof. Sidin</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">November : Session with Prof. Redzuan</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Disember : Outdoor Session</span></span></li>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.450000762939453px;">Okay, there another 9 months to go. See again in July for next evaluation.. </span></span></div>
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<br />Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-8921156335076939112014-03-21T23:01:00.002+08:002014-03-21T23:01:57.620+08:00StopWhat friendship mean? Its something not easy for me to comprehend. I don't feel I ever have a best friend in my lifetime. No one to be blamed, just I am not ready to accept a person to intrude in my life deeply. <div>
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I've been hurting sharing my secret with people around me. Nobody will really be there. May be I expected too much from people that I've hurt again and again.</div>
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Therefore, I decided to stop to be in that kind of friendship anymore. </div>
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Sometime, I feel like I should just ignore. May be that friendship mean, sometime happy, sometime hurt. But, I don't feel any friendship. It just... business may be. </div>
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And its annoying. That I want to stop. Stop to be in a fake relationship they call friendship. Where, I always feel disturb and hurt.</div>
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Nobody to be blamed. Its all my fault to feel that way, to be that way. I just need to stop now.<br /><div>
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Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-13549087088536553302014-03-21T19:47:00.000+08:002014-03-21T19:47:19.527+08:00BreakingSince I decided. I try my best to avoid anything with the people in my life. But, its not easy actually. Repeatedly I ask myself, why did I really want to break all this relationships?<br />
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He. A man that I met about a year ago (a year + months). Its not a love in first sight but since the day I know him, he seem special to me. But, nothing more just feeling he is different than others person I've been met before.<br />
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In time I learnt more about him, work together, talk and most listening to him or observing him. May be following too. I grow an interest, rather then like, I felt impressed. And may be attracted.<br />
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I start talking about him, (of course he knows nothing) but people around me sense something. But, I convince them and also myself, its just a feeling like a fan toward a person they fanatic about. (ok, i'm not fanatic just can't stop listening and observing or may be following him... err, did it mean fanatic???)<br />
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Now, it go deeper to admiration. Inspiring. I felt threaten. I felt competitiveness. I felt I want to be like him. (or may be with him.....) Somehow jealousy too.<br />
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Its started confusing at the point where I always felt I need to meet him.<br />
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And I kept all this feeling myself until I decided to write this. Because I want to let it go and move on. I've been fighting with myself whether it is worth to come clean with my feel and being honest with him or just quietly and slowly let the feeling fade away. Time consuming but it's avoid any damage. Because, rather than hurting me, I afraid it will hurt him more in different way if he learned the truth.<br />
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The problem is the feeling. Either just a fan or more than that? Until now, I've been confusing.<br />
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Therefore, all this have to stop before I am hurting myself and others. May be that's the reason I'm breaking the relationship one by one. Before its breaking me down.Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1682243414654009295.post-89634874253765553552014-03-18T22:05:00.001+08:002014-03-18T22:05:07.777+08:00LeavingI try to start writing daily journal manually. Try to figure out, what kind of story to write down. What happen in life and what I felt deep inside. But, I just stuck after write for several line. Whether, I have difficulty to write using pen or it is awkward to be writing on paper. Then, I decided to choose blogging. If people say it is just personal story, let it be... how many people reading my blog anyway...<br />
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Sometime, life seem so complicated when it comes on relationship. Whether family, friends, co-workers, lovers or people that we fatefully met in our life. For me, I've lot of fun meeting new people although I learned that its not easy to start any new relationship, not to establish it into the firm one. Realizing that, I learned how fragile my relationship toward people around me that make me cry much of time to think whether I will left alone somewhere.<br />
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Whether, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a partner, an employee, a student and a lover, I don't think I can perform in any of it. I felt I have been hurting and hurt by the people I have relation with. Most of time. Thinking that, how least important I am toward their life that will make me want to run away every time. But, thinking the new relation I will be developing in new place with new person. It just scared me away.<br />
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I try to not really think about people. To make sure I am not to be hurt or hurting them. Really, life is just for a moment. And we live for the world after. Bothering myself with people is always too much. Its time to move on. End the hurt relationship and move on. Its bitter. But life needed the bitter one. Its not a sin right to forget everything and walk away? I know how expert I am to be a fugitive in much of situation. May be its quite childish and immature. But, if waiting is just wasting of time. What is wrong to leave?<br />
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Whether friend, family, work, love and whatever life in this moment. I'm thinking to let go one by one. Amalina Ismailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826096881612346970noreply@blogger.com0