Diet Program

I have embarked a challenge to stop drinking sugary drinks for 7 days started 22nd July last month.

It was the hardest week because I basically consume sugary drinks everyday. Therefore, I ate a lot of rice and sweets food.

After the week, I don't feel sugary drinks tasty anymore.

Alhamdulillah, I broke the 12 years bad habit (I started drink sweet drinks after I stop my silat training during secondary school).

I continue the challenge for weekdays and I only drink moderately sugary drinks on weekend which I only drink when I found no plain water available.

My weight not reduce for the first and second week, it even increase because I eat a lot to replace the sugary drinks that I refuse.

So, I started to do exercise which no avail because it's not reduce my weight but it can control my stress. It's good, but not enough to get my target to lose weight.

Then, I begin to calculate my calories intake. I have to take less than 1300 calories everyday. Obviously, I can't follow everyday, but I limit only 2 days for the cheat days a week.

Alhamdulillah, I lost around 3 kg when I started on July 22.

I write this post to make sure, I will keep focusing on my goal; to take care of my health, to eat healthy food, to exercise regularly and to lose more weights 💪🧘.

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The Thirty

While reading Pilgrimage, I keep thinking to make a journey by myself.

Therefore, I can meet new people, learn new things and have courage to become a new person.

But, I just kept reading, thinking and wondering of all the circumstances that might be appeared in the journey while lying on the comfort bed in the 3 star hotel at the middle of Kuala Lumpur (I can see the summit of KL Tower and KLCC from it - so, it is quite close to city center)

And I cried without reason, and praying Allah will show me the best path to take.

Suddenly, the door opens and someone I do know but don't really know appeared.

I know her but we never talk. And she told me she messaged me with no reply. (Whoever got my reply is so lucky, and if I messaged you first, yes, I love you 😜)

God is answering my prayer. I told her about things that she didn't know and she was telling me about things that I have no idea of.

Yes, I learned about Freddy Mercury and Queen. I am laughing at myself to think I am now thirty and just aware about it.

That's a good prayer right and when Allah answer it means it is good for me. Learning about a rock band may not have any benefit for me.

But, if I have no idea about that kind of general knowledge, how about the other important knowledge that I don't know yet?

That becomes a sign to keep believing that Allah will always guide me if I am praying for Him to guide me. Which I always forget.

A sign to keep believing the prayer that He is not answering yet, is a guidance for me to lead a good life as long as I keep praying for the right cause.

Since I am on my comfort bed. Imagine a journey alone with a new companion.

*And with a knock, He answered everything.*

Yes, I am thirty and I know nothing without Allah's will.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10218680701264572&id=1109689110

The sleepless night

Yes, I got sleep. I just make it early and I can't sleep anymore.

I got headache, stomachache and I don't feel good inside my body.

I swallowed a few of pill, reading book and I am not getting better.

I cried, missing someone that I should forget. But, it's not easy.

So, I got up, take a shower and pray.

Go downstairs and drink some fibre, hopefully my stomach will get better.

And grab the milk from the fridge and take a mug back to my bedroom.

I should write my novel. But, I am so lazy.

So, I just continue again to watch House of Cards.

It's reminded me of my favorite TV show when I am young, the West Wing.

It's like a dejavu because now I am working at the west wing of the Prime Minister's building.

I don't know if I was indulge in politic since my young age. But, I do love it. Although, I seem don't really care about it sometimes.

But, I still can't sleep. And I need to wake early this morning to go to work.

The remedy

I have been thinking whether I need to seek help from professional or not.

If I want to find a professional, who I can trust with all my story of life?

I don't know who. I can always tell my best friend but I know I will not tell everything.

The only thing that I can trust is Allah.

Maybe, just maybe I will find help from Him.

In my busy life, I always forgot about Him.

I care and depend so much on people and I forgot that Allah care more about me and I can depend on Him.

So, I will try to do this 4 remedies:

1. Zikir every chance I have
2. Pray early time with sunat rawatib prayer
3. Read Quran (Al-Waqiah, Al-Mulk, 10 verses of beginning and end of Al-Kahfi)
4. Qiamullail (where I can talk and do my consultation with Allah)

I should try this first. Hopefully, I will get better.

The anxiety

I just back from attending a training on lay counselor.

During the program, we have to answer few quizzes.

One of them was the level of our mental health.

I got worst for my anxiety and moderate for stress and depression.

And I was the only on got the worst score in the room.

I think I am fine.

But, I know I don't really can function well.

I leave my workspace messy.

I forget a lot of things.

I am disappointed with my self that I can't be as efficient I should be.

Or as perfect as I should be.

Sometimes I feel useless.

I can't do simple things and I don't know what to do.

I sleep for 6 hours or more but I still feel tired when wake up.

And when I am thinking about everything I started to cry.

Crying without knowing the reason why.

I can't off the lamp when sleep at night because I am afraid I can't wake up at the right time.

I worried to sleep at midday because I am afraid people will call me about important things.

I keep checking my phone if anything happen.

I don't know if I really need to seek help from professional

I want to quit my job but I always afraid.

Afraid that I can't do any better in other job.

Afraid that I don't have money to support my family.

Afraid that others who replace me will take opportunity for their own good.

Maybe I really need to find help.