Tuesday, November 10, 2015

To love or to be loved.

Today, I cut my hair.

It's a secret,

I let my hair to get long because I fell in love with someone.

I wanted to marry him and I thought I should marry with long hair.

But, he married someone else.

He never knows I am into him.

I am fine.

I think.

Although I want to marry him, I never feel confidence to confess.

Until the truth reveal.

I think it a good things.

But, it's not that easy.

For couple of months, I think I can get over him.

I just don't know if I can love someone like that anymore.

But, after few months I met someone else.

Someone I never thought I will be in love with.

But, I was truly falling all over him.

I asked him to marry me.

But, I got rejected.

He also has another person to be his wife.

It's hurt to the hell.

And I try to get over it and find someone else.

It's crazy.

But, I managed to fall in love again.

And, courageously, I was proposing again.

And, again, got rejected.

I felt like, I am doing comedy rather than melodrama.

Falling in love repeatedly and devastated with broken heart again and again.

It's hurt.

I cried everytime I remember it.

But, I learnt a lot.

So much things.

Among them is, I can fall in love again and again.

Maybe it's just not at the right person.

And I can fall in love in many different ways.

One day, if I really meet the right person, I will fall again.

Till that time,

I know, I just have to miss him.

Someone who will be right for me.

I cut my hair today,

Because, I want to be my self.

I want he to love me because of me.

I would not like to be someone else to make others to love me.

Because, how hard I am trying,

The ones who didn't love will me, will stay like that.

I will stop trying to please others.

It's hard to be honest.

I never have courage to tell anyone about this.

Lucky, I can write.

I can content my heart.

That, I am not alone.

I can write and at least, Allah knows my heart.

Instead of pleasing others,

I will try to please Him.

And, He will grant me the love I need.

It's something that I always believe after all had happened.

He never leave me alone.