Friday, November 6, 2015

The Me?

I think I will just be me.

But, I really wonder which is me?

Deep inside, I want to fall in love, be in love and feel to be loved.

But, at one second I am scared.

Do I will be treated in good way?

Do he is the right one?

Do he will love me forever?

Do I will never stop to love him?

And Do I have time for all these?

I went through 10 years (and more) without lover.

I can through this period too.

I don't really need it actually.

Maybe I just scared when everyone go to another phase of their life while I stuck here.

Maybe I just jealous on something others people have that I don't have.

Maybe I think it is the time.

Maybe and maybe because a lot of reasons.

But, the real me, what she will do?

I don't know.

But, she is beautiful, kindhearted, intelligent and talented.

She will find her way.

Her way.

She will cry alone every night

either when reading romantic novel and watching love story

or when she prays and studies the Qur'an

She will be that kind of person.

Crying as much as she wants

And smile brightly again and again in front of others.

And she will write.

Being honest at least to herself although she will pretend in front of others.

That she.

And she is me.